I’m not sure when the idea of identity formed. Did the cavemen think it up, as they sat around the first campfire and pointed grimy fingers at the odd man out in his leopard skin loincloth? All I know is that somewhere down the line, people started to let others define who they were. In fact, others’ opinions have become like a cataract, clouding how we look at ourselves in order to find our own identity. People will bend and shape their own image in order to fit the mold set by society and peers. We end up blindly follow examples of those more likeable characters around us and begin to transform our physical and emotional character, until our new self is nothing but a mutilated version ofwho we used to be.
Physical appearance is playing a larger and larger role in developing identity as young kids. From a young age, we are told that we are beautiful for who we are, however once we enter high school that all goes out the window. For some reason, how classmates view students can forever change the students’ perception of who or what they want to be. For Lucy Grealy, this insecurity manifested itself in how she looked. In fact, her favorite memories were during the one time a year that she could cover her face up; Halloween. Grealy testifies to this in her essay by writing “…I began to realize why I felt so good. No one could see me clearly. No one could see my face.” (Grealy. 67) Before long, she found herself resenting the people around her because of what she had to go through. Even after hearing a story about her new college roommate had survived being run over by an iceboat she commented on it by saying “After all, she’d lived, hadn’t she? ... So what was the big fuss about?” (Grealy. 71) This simply goes to show that living a lifestyle of self-consciousness can have repercussions.
However, physical insecurity is only one example of what people deal with in terms of how others view them. For Gloria Anzaldua, there was less insecurity with how she looked, but more emotional pressure from society on how to act. This pressure, displayed through the demand to change her language, ultimately morphed her into she was as a person. From an early age she was told by her society that she was “…speaking the oppressor’s language by speaking English.” (Anzaldua 79) However, she was then told by her teachers that “If you want to be American, speak ‘American. If you don’t like it, then go back to Mexico where you belong.” (Anzaldua 78) On one hand she felt a push to learn English to assimilate, but a pull to uphold her Chicana roots. This dichotomy between her two cultures resulted in a rebellious streak for Anzaldua and even led her to define herself by her language. She proved this by saying “I am my language.” (Anzaldua 83) While this could be seen as a better outcome than being resentful, it also isn’t necessarily who she would have chosen to be if those cultural pressures weren’t there.
We fight our entire lives to become someone we are not. People and society tell us how to look and act, and we abide because not to be accepted is a fate worse than death. Queen Latifah, aside from being my personal hero, is an incredible example of overcoming these insecurities and pressures that peers and culture set on us. She said it best when writing “What I am is a young black woman from the inner city who is making it, despite the odds, despite the obstacles I’ve had to face in the lifetimes that have come my way.” (Latifah pg. 33) Until people are satisfied with being themselves and surrender themselves to the fact that they cannot please everyone, they will never stop striving after an identity that is not our own. Overcoming the physical and emotional demands that people put before us along with the demands we set for ourselves is the only way to accomplish this.
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